


Token

by the_ragnarok



Category: Original Work
Genre: BDSM, Collars, F/F, F/M, Multi, Pet Play, Service Submission, Trans Character, relationship anarchy, rocks, solo polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 11:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ragnarok/pseuds/the_ragnarok
Summary: Her initial limits are pretty simple. He nods while she explains solo polyamory and her basic likes and dislikes. "And one last thing:" she says, "you have to give me a rock."





	Token

JUNE

The Bunnytale cafe is where Shay takes all her first dates. She knows all the staff by name, and they won't let any asshole hassle her, and anyone who thinks kink is too dark and grim or whatever to meet at a cafe with a pawprint sign and storytelling hours on Saturdays won't be a good match for Shay anyway.

Also, after 8PM the second drink is free and comes with a little origami monkey, so there's that.

The guy introduced himself as his website handle, demon404: Shay doesn't like pseudonyms and doesn't do closets, but she won't tell others what to call themselves. He doesn't comment on her choice of venue, which is a good start.

He almost ruins it by saying, "Do you remember I gave you a task?"

Shay sighs. "I told you this already. I'll give you one last chance, because I think you're well-intentioned and think this kind of shit gets me hot. It doesn't. Even if it did, it wouldn't be okay to do without discussing boundaries."

He's quiet for a moment, and she can see conflict in his expression.

"I'm not playing hard to get," Shay says firmly. "I'm still willing to potentially submit to you - but I have to know you'll respect my limits. And my first limit is, nothing happens until we negotiated it."

A second passes and it seems like he could fall either way. Then he says, "So can I ask more about your limits?"

Shay gives him her brightest smile. "Of course! That's what we're here for, right?"

Her initial limits are pretty simple. "I pay for what I order," she says, "because we are here as equals, and not as Dom and sub. I'm only subby when I explicitly agree to be. If you try to pay for me, I will leave the money anyway as tip for the servers and won't see you again." That was one reason they liked her here.

He nods while she explains solo polyamory and her basic likes and dislikes. He should know she's trans from her profile, but some guys miss that part, so she covers it anyway. He doesn't blink, thank fuck. "And one last thing:" she says, "you have to give me a rock.

"Not anything big or expensive," she hurries to clarify. "You can buy one at an art supply store, or if you have one lying around that you don't need, or pick one up on the street that isn't like, a petrified turd. It needs to be about yea big, " she makes a circle the size of a large grape, "and to weigh about as much as you'd expect a rock that size to weigh. And you need to like it - not like, love it, I wouldn't ask you to give up something you love. But like it enough that you might pick it up if you saw it."

He looks a little dazed for a bit. She gets that a lot. But before she can sigh and wave for the check, he says, "So a shell won't do it, right? Not the right weight."

"Not the right approximate shape, either," Shay says. "I think you got the idea."

His expression turns thoughtful. "I might have something," he says. "It's not exactly a rock, and I don't have it here... I live pretty close by, though. I don't suppose you'd mind waiting until I get it?"

Shay looks at him and decides to take a chance. "How about we pay the bill and I come with you?"

Once at his place, he invites her to sit on the couch and offers her coffee (she declines) and a glass of water (she accepts). He goes into the bedroom for a bit. Shay is a little tense. If the guy comes out in a leather harness she'll just laugh and leave, but if he....

Before she finishes the thought he's back in the living room, mercifully dressed. "Here." He passes her a translucent green ovoid. "I went to one of those beaches that have pebbles, not sand, and I think this was part of a broken bottle, and..." he trails off.

Shay clutches the glass piece to her chest. It's wonderfully cool against her skin. "I love it," she says.

"You can have it," the guy says, voice faint. "Wow, you really did want that, huh?"

"You thought it was a test?" Shay asks. Demon shrugs one shoulder. "Aw, but you went with it anyway. Well, to be fair, it was. But it was also something I did genuinely want."

She sets the rock (not exactly a rock, but close enough) down, and looks him in the eye. "I have some really weird limits," she says. "And requests. And I mean all of them, and they're all for a reason. I won't ever ask for something just to wind you up, or to feel like I can control you. That's not what I want."

Demon digests this. "So what do you want?"

It's effort not to bounce up and down in her seat. "What else do you have in that room?"

* * *

LATE APRIL

They were all snuggled together for a moment, then Beau went to see if the baby was tucked in properly and Shay's side got cold.

"Shay?" Maja sounded worried.

"My collar," Shay said. It was weird, she didn't usually go all droppy like that after being with Beau and Maja.

Maja brought it without any questions, clasped it around Shay's neck. Shay sagged and sighed, feeling all warmed up again. The collar felt a little lopsided, with Alice's token hanging off it, but not enough to bother Shay.

"Oh, that's new," Maja said, looking at the token. "Can I touch it?" Shay nodded. "It's pretty."

"It's an agate," Shay said. "Alice gave it to me." The words gave her an additional warm thrill. "I'm totally going to have people giving me pretty rocks if they want me in their beds."

She was half-kidding, but Maja said, "What kinds of rocks?" and sounded like she did when Elena's birthday was coming up and every inch of the apartment was plastered with dinosaur-themed paper plates and decorations, Maja sitting with a clipboard and a pen between her teeth, planning for a group of five-year-olds as though they were a conquering army.

It threw Shay off for a moment. "Ones about this size, I guess," she said. "Ones you like."

Maja hmm-ed and turned over, rummaging through a drawer. "Elena found this yesterday," she said, showing Shay a pebble. It was broken halfway through, gray on the outside, its insides brown-blue: flint. "Does that work?"

Shay's breath caught. "Won't she miss it?"

Maja shook her head. "She gave it to us," Maja said. "She was very clear it was a gift."

"I'm honored," Shay said, once she felt like she had words. Maja gave her the rock. It was cool, smooth on one side and rough on the other, neither of them sharp to handle.

"It's just a rock she picked up in the park," Maja said.

"She gave it to you," Shay said. "And you gave it to me." She closed her eyes and held it to her chest. "It's perfect."

* * *

MAY

Drake was propped up on a small mountain of cushions, the bandages over his chest peeking under his unbuttoned flannel shirt. He had a glass of water and a bowl of crackers next to him.

Shay eyed him critically. "Got everything you need?"

Drake made a show of looking left and right. "I don't have a Shay to cuddle."

Shay pressed up against his left side and closed her eyes as his hand smoothed over her hair. Drake gave amazing pettings.

She said so, and he replied, "Well, I have an amazing pet."

Valiantly, Shay withstood the urge to hit him with a pillow. "God, you're corny."

"Only the finest corn for my finest chick," he said. Shay bit his finger. "Ow! Hey, no hitting me while I'm recovering!" He considers this and pouts. "No hitting at all. Recovery sucks."

Shay rubbed his back consolingly. "Want me to get you ice cream?"

"I got it," Drake said, and started to get up.

"No," Shay said, firmly yanking him down, "I am going to get it."

"But what kind of host would I be if--?"

"One who's recovering from surgery," Shay said, "and one who's topping a service sub. Sit your ass down and I'll bring you ice cream."

Drake side-eyed her. "You're very assertive for a service sub."

"The assertive-est," Shay said cheerfully. "Sit the fuck down before you tear your stitches."

Drake's kitchen was a place full of memories, most of them good: Drake making her soup at 2AM after her boyfriend at the time threw her out, helping Drake decorate, making cake together for Alice's birthday.

The freezer had boxes of Beau's lasagna, labelled and dated in Maja's neat handwriting. Shay smiled at those as she took out the ice cream.

It got her thinking about Beau and Maja. "Did I tell you Beau and Maja gave me a rock?" she said, then remembered: "Oh wow, I didn't tell you about the thing with the rocks at all."

He listened when she told him, then tried to get up again. To his credit, he sat down as soon as he remembered he wasn't supposed to move around, and then told her, "In my work room, top drawer of the desk, there's a little blue box. Bring it."

The box was shimmering dark blue plastic: jewel case for cheap jewels. Shay brought it over without peeking.

When Drake opened it, the rock inside took Shay's breath away. "Okay, you're just teasing me, right?" Shay said. "Or like, are we comparing rocks now? Because that's not fair, you have professional advantage."

Drake laughed. "Don't be silly. It's for you."

"It shouldn't be anything actually precious," Shay said weakly as Drake placed the tiny garnet in her hand and closed her fingers around it. "That's not what it's about."

"I didn't buy it," Drake said. "I found it on my last tour." Drake was a geologist.

Shay wrinkled her nose. "Doesn't this belong to the university then? Or like - to whomever funded your tour, or something."

"It's yours," Drake said, as firm as Shay was a moment before, then, "Hey! Hey! Watch out for the ribs!"

* * *

EARLY APRIL

Shay lay on her back and wondered aloud, "Do you think most people have favorite ceilings?"

"That's a tough question," Alice said. She was sitting close to Shay, playing with some putty. "I'd believe it either way. Why, do you have one?"

"Yours," Shay said promptly.

It was the truth. Possibly it was just that she associated the sight of Alice's ceiling with being comfortable and happy and loved, but Alice stuck glow-in-the-dark stars on it to form constellations and sometimes she told Shay stories about them. It was a good ceiling.

"Aw," Alice said. She put her putty aside and hugged Shay. Shay lightly bit Alice's wrist. "Are you a kitty?" Alice asked her.

"I'm a dragon," Shay decided, and added, "Rawr," for good measure.

"Are you," Alice said, in a tone Shay couldn't quite place. "What do dragons do?"

Shay considered. She could play at spitting fire, or acid for that matter, but she didn't particularly feel like it. "They bask in the sun," she said. "And they hoard things."

"What kind of things?" Alice disengaged and lay on the bed, propping her head on her hand. She regarded Shay like Shay was some kind of deep sea creature, strange and beautiful and unlike anything else.

Shay frowned. "I want to say ceilings, but I don't think it would work." She looked around her, casting for anything that would be good hoarding material. There were several plush toys, but even if Shay hadn't known that Alice refused to be parted from the stuffed animals, they weren't what she was looking for. "I don't know."

Alice raised a finger. "I have an idea." She got up and went to the other room. Shay went back to contemplating the ceiling.

Alice came back quickly enough, bearing a small, smooth orangish rock. "It's an agate," Alice said.

This was why she loved Alice so much: Alice had a way of finding just what Shay needed, when Shay didn't even know what that was. Alice handed her the rock, and Shay cradled it in her palms, reveling in how smooth it was, how it warmed in her hands. "It's perfect."

"I can make you, like, a tiny harness thing," Alice said, "so you could put it on your collar like a pendant. You know what, I'll make you a bunch. For your hoard."

That sounded great, and Shay said so. Then she put the rock carefully aside and tackled Alice to the bed, cuddling her with all her might.

* * *

JUNE  
The sun glared through the shades. Shay turned over and blinked blearily at her phone. She wasn't going to look for incoming messages. She was going to go over her emails, and _not_ the chat client.

She opened her phone, and her fingers slid to the chat client, as sure as magnets.

There were no notifications for the chat client, but sometimes it didn't update right away. Sometimes there were new messages and no outside indication for them.

The client was still showing Shay's chat history with Vanessa. The last few messages, dated days and then weeks apart, were all from Shay. The very last one, from yesterday, read, _are we still talking?_

Next to it, with a timestamp from midnight, was the word _seen_.

Shay set the phone down and swiped angrily at her eyes. Stupid, to get so worked up about a friendship that has been on its last legs for months now.

She opened a drawer in her bedside table, and pulled out a box divided into small, fabric-padded cells. Each held a small rock, about the size that would fit comfortably in a palm. Shay took out one that was dull orange and irregularly angled; she tried not to read anything into either the color or the shape. Adding superstitions on top of an already eccentric habit won't do her any good.

The rock was cool in the palm of her hand. Shay squeezed it, feeling the angles dig into her palm, and let out a long, ragged breath that turned into a sob halfway through.

There was a children's playground a few blocks down. Shay set the orange rock on the ground next to a swing set and told it "Goodbye," low and quiet. 

* * *

JULY

The seasons were changing, and Shay was in greater need than ever of her inhaler. Which of course meant that her doctor was out of town and she couldn't get her prescription renewed. She didn't get a runny nose or red eyes, no, she just stopped breathing at night and woke up feeling like death warmed over.

Her phone buzzed. She groaned and hit _snooze_ on her third try. She stared at her bedroom ceiling. It was definitely inferior to Alice's. 

Another buzz. This time, instead of an alarm, it was an email from one of her clients, asking about a translation in progress. Shay made a truly pathetic noise as she tried to get her brain together enough to come up with a reasonable assessment. She debated taking a day off when another notification popped up: rent due in three days.

With Herculean efforts, she sat up and groped for her laptop. When she opened the document, the words blurred and ran into one another. She needed coffee.

Before getting up, she paused. She needed something else, too.

She opened the suitcase beside the bed that held all her kink things, including her collar. She took out the box with the rocks, most of which Alice had fitted with clasps that could fit into the D-rings in the collar.

The collar went on first, familiar stricture around her throat. Then the rocks, one small weight at a time, tethering her down to earth. 

Finally they were all on: Maja and Beau's rocks on the left side, Alice's at the center, Drake's on the right. Shay hesitated before adding the piece of glass Demon gave her next to Drake's.

All balanced together, she felt absurdly light. She closed her fist around each rock in turn, summoning a vivid image of the person who gave them to her: of gentle humor and service, of support, of new passion, and of complete understanding. 

She went to pour herself coffee, the rocks clinking together, making harmonies.


End file.
